I am happy to announce the creation of this blog for the dispensing of my extremely valuable and insightful advice. I am qualified, by genetic gifts and experience, to answer questions concerning interpersonal relationships, marriage, step parenting, dealing with wicked step parents, work, what sucks at work, marketing, entertainment, modern parents, culture, travel, disease and horses. I can also answer questions on art techniques, weight loss and weight gain, wigs, why marriage before 30 is not recommended for most, why marriage before 35 is not recommended for many, why multiple marriage is not recommended for anybody, why shutting up is hard to do, why personality is destiny and a whole host of issues. This is my gift to humanity...I am so damned proud of myself!
To have your questions answered, post your questions "Anonymously" by hitting the Comment button like you're going to make a Comment but you're really going to Ask A Question and I will reply to you with my Advice for Life. Please, no comments on what a stupid idiot you may think I am. Comments are only for those with problems they need me to solve.
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18 comments:
Dear Yenta, I am wondering if I should marry a serial divorcer. My boyfriend has been married three times before me. Do I stand a chance?
Absolutely not. Are you out of your mind?
Dear Yenta,
Are you Jewish? What qualifies you to be a Yenta?
I am a Righteous Gentile, which is practically Jewish for all intents and purposes. I am pro-Israel and anti-Palestinian State. Quit questioning me on nonissues.
Dear Joan the Yenta,
My boyfriend only wants to date me on Thursday nights, or weeknights. Weekends he is with his parents or at his job; he has a very demanding career. Plus I only have his work number. Can I ask him for his home number and when I can have a Saturday night date?
This guy is married, count on it. Never agree to a first date during the week; always always see his face on the weekend. Always always meet his friends as soon as possible. Provided you have reasonable grounds for expecting him to view you as normal and not a stalker, always demand 24_7 access after the first date and during the next two dates; if he doesn't agree to this, drop him. Wondering about what he's doing or where he's really at when you're not with him is what makes dating such a nightmare. If he can't give you 24_7 access once you realize he's a possibility means he is not to be trusted. That's my advice.
Dear Yenta, I am suspicious of my boyfriend who I've been seeing for the past six weeks. So one day I was in his apartment alone and was overtaken by curiousity. So I have a question for you: Is it ok to go through his drawers and emails when he's not around? Should I respect his privacy?
Officially you should always respect the privacy of individuals. Realistically, hell yes go through everything if you're suspicious. Trust your instincts, that's what they're there for. Do you walk down dark alleys at 2 in the morning? Those are your instincts talking girlfriend. So case closed--instincts rule and it's what he deserves for making you suspicious in the first place. Plus the fact he left his email and draws open for your perusal proves he's an idiot and may very well be skulking around. Dick.
I love this blog. Will visit often. Put some google ads on this bad boy.
Dear Yenta,
Any dating advice? I have been out the circut for awhile, and trying to reenter is a nightmare. I am not a spring chicken, so that that are interested are way too old and slightly creepy. The guys my age seem to be very interested in someone younger (probably thinner. NYC is not an easy place to find a treasure.
Dear JTY,
I spotted my brother in law arm in arm with a strange woman as I was riding a bus in Manhattan. Should I inform my sister of this? I am an emotional wreck, not knowing what to do. Anguished in Queens
Dear Anguished,
Before you tell your sister, call your brother in law immediately and let him have it; unload completely and inform him of your dilemma and guilt. (Please note that if your brother in law has a criminal background or suspected criminal background or "dead eyes", this advice is not valid. In such case, you must take your sister aside and JUST TELL HER WHAT YOU SAW). Anyway, if your brother in law is worth keeping as a brother in law he will cease and desist; you should follow up periodically with him, and you should begin prying into your sister's married life and happiness to pick up signs of a cheating spouse which include a nasty husband (deflected guilt), an unusually considerate husband (guilt), long unexplained absenses, more frequent business trips or other changes in lifestyle. If you are not satisfied with your brother in law's keeping up his end of the bargain, you then should tell your sister. Do not allow too much time to elapse between the first confrontation and the followup. You could be asked by your sister, "why did you take so long to tell me" because you will have to give her DETAILS and you would have to confess all. It's no fun and your brother in law is a shit, but honesty is the best policy.
Dear Dating Advice Needed,
I think you should definitely sign up for an online dating service such as eharmony or Match.com. Why? Because dating SUCKS, finding a partner is up there with finding a job (SUCKS), you never feel you measure up, you only think you have shortcomings, you always think you're second string: that's LIFE. The advantage of online dating is the law of large numbers; you can go through many applicants and you WILL find somebody. Just know that it's painful and depressing (that's LIFE), that MANY mature individuals find new relationships ALL THE TIME and someone who wants someone younger is an ASSHOLE and NOT WORTH WASTING ONE SECOND ON. Good luck!
Love this!!! You're awesome because you pull no punches. Keep up the good advice! Love ya, LB
Dear Yenta:
You are awesome. I thoroughly enjoy your comments especially with my first cup of coffee. You can hok mir a chainik anytime.
xoxo-
Nancy
Dear Joan, are there any women in NY who are interested in a regular guy who's not an investment banker or dot com millionaire?
Dear Anonymous Normal Male Who is Not an Egomaniacal Materialistic Testosterone Rocket Investment Banker Dot Com Millionaire: Yes, yes and yes. By definition, you stand a much better chance of finding a woman who appreciates you instead of your bank account because you are not a robber baron (investment bankers get paid because they take money out of many pockets and put them into one pocket who pays them for this service in the form of basis points. Dot Com millionaires are dot com millionaires because of investment bankers since only two or three dot com concepts really make real money. Since the economy is in its current state, I feel my low opinion of this ilk is based on reality and not knee jerk jealousy)and women who restrict their social lives to this class will be rewarded accordingly. If a woman rejects you because you are not rich, thank your lucky stars that you avoided a huge money suck. Go to the online dating service and put your financial resume out there. You will be surprised how many women are interested in men with personalities and character and who work for a living (I'm sorry I have an issue with financial types; my bias. They take out more than they add to the economy.) Joan the Yenta
Dear Yenta,
I have a friend that I used to work with and see almost everyday, now we work in different places. I really miss her. I've tried to get together but it doesn't seem to work out. The more that time goes by, and I don't see her, the less connected I feel we are. She's gone through a lot this year and I understand why we haven't connected but I feel like I want and wanted so much to be there when she was going through all her shit, and I still want to be apart of her life, but I'm not sure what to do. Can you advise me?
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